


Barbie x Bella x Mothman

by watery_melon_baller



Category: Barbie - All Media Types, Mothman (Folklore), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: AU, Crack, Crossover, Cult, F/F, F/M, Floor Sex, Glitter, Gothic, Makeover, Parody, Pink - Freeform, Satire, barbie has zero braincells, fashion - Freeform, how romantic!, mothman is jus confused, so does bella
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:34:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24972412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watery_melon_baller/pseuds/watery_melon_baller
Summary: All Barbie wanted was to expand her resume, but in one gothic mansion, she found so much more. Join us for an epic tale of love, sex, summoning, and purse dogs.
Relationships: Barbie/Bella Swan (Twilight), Barbie/Bella Swan (Twilight)/Mothman, Barbie/Ken, Barbie/Mothman, Bella Swan (Twilight)/Mothman
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Barbie x Bella x Mothman

**Author's Note:**

> Ayy for once its the other gay posting this one. Hope you enjoy this crackfest; I like to think I did a pretty good job.

Barbie smiled. Life was good. 

Today, she had a job interview. She kept getting fired, but couldn’t fathom why. Take her last job. She’d been a great astronaut! That ‘no sex in space’ rule NASA had was stupid. And she’d only broken it a couple (hundred) times on her first (and last) mission. 

No matter. She was confident. She had a massive skill set. She would be a great- what was she interviewing to be again? She checked her e-purse. Ah, yes! That was it. She was interviewing to be a sexy halloween costume model. She was well suited to that, she thought with a self satisfied smirk. Her lucious, juicy curves were beautiful. She was thicc of ass and miniscule of waist. Her long, blonde hair flowed down to her ass cheeks, complimenting flawless, white complexion. Tiny feet and legs supported her 5’11 stature. She was a perfect picture of traditional western beauty. 

Feeling fully prepared for the day, Barbie slunk out of her bed, disentangling herself from Ken. He was a very sexy partner. Dull, but exquisite in bed. 

She quickly prepared in one of her three en-suite bathrooms. Ah, how she loved having a 100,000 square foot mansion. 

Next, the fun part of her morning: fashion! She had never worn the same outfit twice, and she wouldn’t start today. With her family riches and the money of all her hunky hubbys, it was easy to afford. 

She went over to her closet, which took up half the floor. She sang a quick four note tune, and her fashion bot zipped over, past several rows of hung clothing. She couldn’t  _ fold _ her clothing like a barbarian, after all. 

“What’ll it be today?”, the fashion bot chirped cheerily. His voice was high and electronic. He wore a sparkly pink tux. The wheels which supported his small, chrome body allowed him to zip around the massive space in seconds. His left arm ended in a socket to which all manner of tools could be attached. Hair brushes, blow dryers- the options were endless! His right hand was metallic. 

Barbie had found him during her firefighter days, in a burning building. Apparently, he’d been a very expensive government initiative. Barbie didn’t really care. It had all gone over her head, and she’d had other ideas. He’d been very broken up, so she offered to fix him. She had done that, but also fitted him to her purposes, covertly adding in an implant to give him fashion knowledge, and then put him to work in her closet. 

She smiled down at her fashion bot. “Something suave, yet sparkly.”

The robot nodded, wheeling off. A whole  _ minute  _ of waiting later, she got her outfit. As usual, it was the perfect combination of pink, sexy, and sparkly. The dress went down an inch past the end of her torso. It was strapless and came up to just cover her nipples, with slits running down the front, back, and sides. The whole thing was covered in hot pink glitter. 

Barbie dressed happily. She grabbed her purse dog and departed her dreamhouse. She made her way to the adress she’d been supplied in her shiny pink convertible. Ten minutes later, she pulled up in front of a hulking, black mansion, rather decaying. They could’ve kept it up better, Barbie thought. And painted it a less depressing color. Black was just so  _ dreary. _

No matter. She hadn’t been a sexy Halloween costume model yet, and she was dedicated to growing her resume. Standing up straighter, she picked up her purse and walked up the front steps, fourteen inch heels clicking. Taking a deep breath, she took hold of the heavy brass knocker and banged once. The door swung open immediately.

Inside was a long hallway, walls papered in faded Victorian paisley wallpaper. Oil lamps mounted on the walls cast a flickering glow. The floor was black carpet that crunched beneath Barbie’s feet. At least the room had tasteful trim, she thought with a shrug, walking deeper into the house. 

At the end of the dark hallway was a black wooden door. Carved into the wood were the jagged words ‘Halloween Costume Models Enter Here’. Figuring this was where she should go, Barbie headed in. The room she entered was much similar to the hallway. In the middle was an antique-looking rectangular dining table made of heavy dark wood. Dark mist swirled around the floor. Heavy power circled through the stale air. Nine cloaked figures sat around the table, hoods drawn. One sat at the head, and the other eight sat in pairs along the long sides. That left one open seat at the foot.

**“Sit”** , said the figure at the head, voice echoing with ethereal power. 

“Ok!”, Barbie said cheerily, pulling out the high backed chair and lowering herself into it daintily. 

**“Are you here for the… job?”** , the figure said. 

“Yep!”, said Barbie. “And you’ll see, I have an impressive resume. She leaned over to grab a stack of paper 10 inches thick and heaved it onto the table with a peppy smile. She, with effort, slid it towards the other end of the table. Even with their faces shrouded in darkness, you could tell that the cloaked figures were confused as they leaned over the huge document. 

The figure at the head lifted a corner with a bony finger.  **“Err…”** , they began.

“I’m extremely qualified for this job”, Barbie rambled, not at all fazed. “If you look on page 78, you’ll see that I was a model for 8 months, and have been on and off since. Also, on page 113 you’ll find that I was a stripper! Multiple times. My personal favorite was that stint in a bar in Romania. Flying out there every day in my private jet was a chore, but man are Romanian guys  _ hot.  _ And wonderful in bed.”

By now, all the figures were staring. The one at the head raised a palm.  **“Stop, stop, stop”** , they said.  **“We don’t need all this. Could you just try on a couple of our costumes?”**

“Of course!”, exclaimed Barbie. One of the figures on the left held out a hand, and a packaged halloween costume floated onto the table in front of Barbie. It was labeled ‘cardiac arrest’. The picture in front showed a sexy woman in a low cut and short black and red nurse’s dress. She wore a nurse hat and long socks in the same color scheme. She wore black gloves and held a syringe up like a gun in her left hand. 

Barbie pursed her lips. Very… dark, but she could make it work. Hell, she could make a garbage bag work. She looked flawless in anything. Confidently, she picked up the bag, climbed onto the dining table, and stripped. Two of the interviewers screamed and looked away, shielding their eyes with bony hands. Humming, she got on her knees, opened up the costume, and dressed. Thankfully, the costume was a size 0, fitting perfectly. She wouldn’t want it to be baggy, she thought with disgust. Once she was fully dressed, she walked up and down the table, calling back to her stripper training. God, but these heels were so  _ low _ . Still, she powered through.

After two runs up and down the table, she looked back to her interviewers with a smile. “So, have you seen enough?”

**“Dear gods above!”** , cried one of the figures on the right side of the table, who had shielded their eyes. 

**“Look, you can have the job!”** , said the head figure.  **“Just please, get off our table, and change in private!”**

Barbie jumped and gave a little clap of her hands. “Thank you so much! I promise, you won’t regret it.” She went up and shook the head figure’s bony hand. It was ice cold. “When do I start?”

**“Monday”** , said the figure leaning away.  **“Now please, go change and leave.”**

Barbie began to pull down the dress. 

**“IN PRIVATE”** , shouted nine echoey voices in unison. Pulling the dress back up with a small pout, Barbie hopped off the table, grabbed her clothes, bag, and resume, and left the room. 

Barbie closed the heavy black door quietly and walked down the hallway, looking for somewhere ‘private’ to change. Gah. Those employers were so stingy. 

She picked a door at random and pushed it open. It led to a grand dining room with tall ceilings. The floors were black, veined marble. A gothic crystal chandelier hung down over the table. Pillars ringed the room. There were no windows. The only light in the room was from the same wavering oil lamps.

Barbie set her stuff down in a chair and stripped, even removing her undergarments. She admired her reflection in the marble. 

Suddenly, Barbie heard a loud thump and a scream. Startled, she looked around. The sound had come from a back corner of the room. 

“Who’s there?”, Barbie called out. She got no answer, so she walked towards the corner. There, she found a petite girl lying on the ground, looking shocked. She had beautiful, dark red-brown hair and dark eyes. She had full lips and lovely arched eyebrows. She wore a pink flannel tied in the front over a lacy black bra and was naked on the bottom. 

“Who are you?”, she asked, looking up at Barbie. 

“I’m Barbie. Pleased to meet you.” She stuck out a hand. 

The girl’s lips twisted into a pout. “I’m Bella”, she said unhappily. Where am I?”

“Malibu”, said Barbie. “Why are you here?”

“I don’t know.” Bella shook her head. “One moment, I was in bed, having sex with my boyfriend Edward. And then, I’m dropped here, in this…” She shot a look around. “... gothic dining room?” She turned her face upwards. “Oh, why?”, she cried. “My life is so awful and hard! I sacrifice so much for my family’s happiness. I  _ have  _ to move to Washington, and everyone’s nice, sure, but the one boy I like wouldn’t like me back! Then he’s a vampire, and I’m also being courted by my friend who’s apparently a werewolf, and now I have to  _ choose! _ ”

“It is rather gothic”, laughed Barbie as Bella’s whole speech flew right over her head. “And very dark.” Her blonde hair swished on her back. “Hey”, she said. “Come on. I don’t know how you got here, but let’s get out of here. You can stay with me.”

“Do you have room?”, asked Bella with a pout. 

“Oh, of course!” Barbie waved a hand flippantly. “I live in a 100,000 square foot mansion! I must have, like, a hundred spare bedrooms.”

“Well”, said Bella melodramatically, “If I  _ must _ , I will make this sacrifice.”

Barbie pulled her to her feet and they walked off, hand in hand, resume, clothes, and purse dog forgotten. 

“Jeez…” Bella was struck speechless. This house was pretty big, she guessed. The ceilings must have been 200 feet at least. And were those  _ real rose diamonds _ on the chandelier!? But alas, she would hide her jealousy!

“It’s only my third home”, said Barbie, waving her hand. 

“Thanks, I guess”, Bella said morosely.

“No need to thank me”, replied Barbie with a dazzling, beautiful smile.

She was a pretty woman, Bella had to admit. Bella certainly had a… situation at home. Several suitors, the most notable being Jacob, an incredibly buff and sexy werewolf, and Edward, a hundred year old vampire with a jawline that could slice steel. To be perfectly honest, she’d been leaning towards Edward, but that didn’t stop her from sleeping with both them and more. All’s fair in love and war.

As she’d told Barbie, she’d been sleeping with Edward earlier that night. That adorable, sexy stalker had been lurking in a corner of her room again, and she just couldn’t resist that ass. 

As you may expect, Bella had been quite shocked to find herself in a dark, extravagant room of that mansion. And Edward had been going through a particularly erotic stage of penetration, too. 

But no matter. She was here now with this hot, rich lady in her mansion. They’d gotten more than a few stares at their lack of clothing, but no one had argued. She would persevere through this hardship!

Barbie led Bella up a grand staircase as wide as the grand entry. It was made of solid rose marble, veined with gold. 

“How’d you get all this?”, asked Bella. 

“I’ve worked many jobs and have many husbands. All were hot of course, and gave off excellent sex. And many were rich. So were my parents. They, unfortunately, died in a yachting accident ten years ago.”

“Well, that's a shame, I guess”, said Bella, voice full of hostility. “But  _ my  _ mother abandoned me to be with her boyfriend.”

“I’m sorry”, replied Barbie with a smile, full of sincerity. She stopped in front of a door just beyond the landing. “This is your room!”, she exclaimed, all sunshine. 

Bella’s jaw dropped. The room was  _ stunning _ . A crystal chandelier hung from the 20 foot ceiling. The room was painted a tasteful shade of lavender. Light streamed in from floor to ceiling windows which covered one wall. A canopied bed of rosewood had giant, fluffy sheets the same shade as the wall. The floor was lovely light wood. Other than the bed, there was a sitting area with modern furniture, a sparkly full kitchen, and two white doors on either side of the room. 

“This room is amazing!”, Bella exclaimed, before reigning in her emotions. Oh, how difficult! “It’s even nicer than Edward’s place”, she continued in a monotone.

“I’m glad you like it”, said Barbie bashfully. “If this isn’t to your taste, there’s other rooms, but I figured you’d like this.”

“It’ll work”, Bella said with a nod. Suddenly struck with the urge, she stood up on her toes, grabbed Barbie around the neck, and kissed her passionately. 

Just as quickly, she pulled away, realizing what she had done. She stared at the ground, blushing furiously. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean- I just-”

Before she could stutter out more, Barbie grabbed Bella and they locked lips. Bella relaxed into her embrace, overwhelmed with relief that this was what they both wanted. 

20 minutes later, Barbie pulled away, gasping in a breath. Bella did likewise. 

“Hey Bella”, panted Barbie. “We’re already undressed. Shall we?” She pointed to the lavender bed. 

Bella’s heart soared. Sex was so fun! And with this sexy icon… this would be a great night. 

Bella growled and jumped Barbie, pinning all 110 pounds of her to the bed in one sure leap. Barbie purred in pleasure. Their hot bodies writhed and pulsed, interlocking in all the right places. 

“Wait a minute!”, Barbie called suddenly. Bella backed off, alarmed. Barbie stood daintily and went over to a nightstand. She opened the drawer. It contained a single dildo, in pristine condition. Barbie unwrapped the pink toy, strapped it on, and lay back down on the bed. “Proceed”, she said. 

Bella leapt back onto Barbie and they resumed their carnal relations. Bella had had a  _ lot _ of sex, but she had to say, this topped all her previous experience. Barbie was so good at it! She took the lead when Bella tired and let her be both a top and bottom as they switched seamlessly. She may even be better than Edward. 

At the thought of him, Bella drooped. She missed him. But when Barbie bit her neck, everything was better again as they sexed through the whole afternoon and into the night.

The next morning, Barbie blinked her blue balls of sight open, squinting at the bright sunlight. She gave a dainty yawn and stretched. “Ken? Kevin?” She murmured the names of her two most recent daddies. Ok, she’d admit she’d been having a K fetish lately. 

“Morning, sleepyhead”, called a female voice, its lilt like water in a brook. Barbie remembered where she was, what had happened. “Bella!”, she cried. She looked over to see the beauty standing over the stove in the kitchen. Her hair was wet, and she’d put her bra and flannel back on. It seemed she’d also found some black jeans in the closet. Shame, she’d enjoyed seeing that juicy ass. At least they were very thin and very tight. 

She turned to Barbie, with a pout that made her dark orbs crackle. “I’m making some breakfast, if you want it. It’s nothing special, just eggs. I worked  _ so hard _ . Enjoy.”

Barbie disentangled herself from the sheets and ran to kiss Bella. Bella leaned into the intimate embrace. 

“I love you”, she whispered into Bella’s silky tresses. 

“I love you too”, murmured Bella. 

They held each other for minutes, but then Bella abruptly screamed “The eggs!”, and broke off. She found the scrambled eggs thankfully ok, and perfectly done. She tipped them onto a plate with one fork. How romantic! 

The two ate the eggs together. Barbie enjoyed every minute. But afterwards, she remembered that she had to go to her job. She sprinted to the bathroom and hastily got ready. She cut her routine down to a mere hour. As she was about to depart out the door in a short, pink flapper-style dress with a fresh purse and purse dog and jewelry to match the rose-hued canine, Bella came running up. “Wait!”, she called. First they made out for ten minutes, then spent another ten engaged in mild sex on the floor in the middle of the foyer, but then Bella finished her thought. “Can I come with you?”, she asked. “It’s the same place, right?” Barbie nodded. “Then could I? I think it might help me figure out what happened, and how I’m here.”

“Of course you can come”, said Barbie. “Let’s go.” 

They departed Barbie’s third mansion in her pink convertible. Barbie drove, for the aesthetic. She’d never taken a drivers test, but money talks, and you learn with time. She’d been driving since she was ten, and she’d only crashed, what, maybe three thousand times? She could win the lawsuits with ease. Anyhow, now she was a great driver! Sort of. Bella yelped as they narrowly avoided collision with a brown sedan. Barbie blissfully ignored their curses as she sped away. 

It was a short time before they pulled up in front of the gothic mansion. Bella was pressed to the seat, hair windswept, eyes wide as she kept a death grip on the side of the car, panting. Barbie got out of the car gracefully. 

“Wow”, said Bella. “That was a ride, all right.” Barbie grinned. She ran around the side of the car and opened the door for Bella. She took her head and Bella relaxed somewhat. Barbie led her out of the car and into the street. She admired the beautiful thirteen inch heels she’d found for Bella. Not quite as tall as the thirty inch ones she wore today (she would NOT be upstaged), but beautiful on her. 

Barbie and Bella walked up to the door hand in hand and went inside. It was the same dimly-lit, windowless victorian hallway. Barbie walked confidently to the room she’d been interviewed in. Bella tugged her hand. 

“Why don’t I stay out here, maybe look around?”, she asked. 

Barbie giggled. Bella was right, of course. This wasn’t her job! This girl was so smart. Barbie’s love for her deepened. 

“Good idea”, said Barbie. Then her face fell as she realized that if she and Bella were apart, they couldn’t just make out or have glorious, spontanious sex.

Bella, that sensitive, caring vixen, noticed. “What’s wrong?”

Barbie told her. Bella saddened just as much as she had at the news. But they both agreed that separation was necessary. Before they parted, they had a tad more floor sex. 

Once those matters of the heart were sorted, the pair split with one last kiss. Barbie headed into the room at the end of the hallway to find the same nine cloaked figures. The table was gone. Instead, they sat in a circle on the dusty wooden floor. Their heads were down, and they were chanting, bony fingers interlocked. The mist swirled thickly around their bodies. Various objects flew about the room. Barbie noticed a flowerpot, a wooden kitchen spoon, and several old books. A strange (and rather gruesome, in Barbie’s opinion) set of symbols was inked in drippy red on the floor in the center of their circle. Above it hovered a writhing ball of shadow. The oil lamps were unlit. Instead, five candles provided nearly no illumination. So impractical, scoffed Barbie inwardly. 

She waited for what must have been thirty whole  _ seconds _ , but the figures paid her no mind. Fed up, she cleared her throat loudly. But they still didn’t even deign to acknowledge her presence! The audacity! Thoroughly irritated now, she shouted sharply. “Hey! I’m here for the job!”

That got their attention. All the flying objects dropped and crashed to the floor loudly, more than a few breaking. The circle broke. Two of the figures jumped up. Every one of them swiveled to stare at Barbie. 

**“Wh- why are you back?!”** , said one of the figures incredulously, echoey voice wavering. 

“I’m here for my job”, Barbie said, hands on her hips. 

**“You actually CAME?!”,** exclaimed another one of the figures. 

“Duh”, said Barbie, rolling her eyes. “That’s how a job works. 

The cloaked face-holes continued to stare.

Finally, one got up and spoke.  **“Ok. Sure? Why not. We’ll give you something to do.”**

“Thanks”, interrupted Barbie saltily. 

The figure plowed on.  **“Your first task is to go sit in that closet for five hours. Don’t move or come out, and be completely silent. Got it?”**

“Ok!”, Barbie beamed. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

She turned and hopped off lightly to the closet the figure had indicated. When she opened the heavy black door, a cloud of dust rushed out. Barbie coughed. This was rather dirty, she thought. She hoped this wouldn’t ruin her outfit. 

The five hours passed by in a blink. It was quite easy to let the time go by. All she had to do was empty her mind completely of all intelligent thought, which was a breeze.

Bella sighed sadly as she watched Barbie’s ass go. It was a tragedy that she had to be away from Barbie! In fact, it was a tragedy that she had to be away from any of her partners. Her life was so hard! 

Looking around, she realized that she had some time to kill. She shrugged. May as well snoop.

There were heavy, ebony raven doors lining the hallway, in addition to the one at the end, into which Barbie had disappeared. Bella picked one at random and went in. 

It was pitch black inside. Bella could hardly see anything. The only light came in through the open door. She crept further in and—

She startled as she heard a chittering noise. It came from the back of the room. Bella was immediately curious. No thoughts occurred in her melodramatic little brain.

“What are you?”, she called boldly as she moved into the dark. “Come out.” 

There was more chittering. 

“I’m not afraid of you”, Bella called. “I’ve slept with a vampire, you know.” 

Yet more chittering. 

Abruptly, Bella bumped into something. It was huge and furry. Bella pouted at the inconvenience. She pressed her hands into it, searching for sexual organs. She let out a small “hmm” sound. If she could just… 

Bella was interrupted from her handling as she was lifted off the ground. She let out an indignant yelp as she was drawn in closer to the fluff. She felt herself being moved, and then she found her feet once again on the ground. Looking up at… something.

It must have been eight, or ten, or twenty feet tall! Bella was not good at estimating distance. Or numbers. Or math in general. Tan and brown fluff covered its long abdomen, from which two muscular arms protruded. Two massive moth’s wings extended from its sides. Up top, it had two puffed antenne and round, shiny black eyes. To her dismay, Bella could not spot one sexual organ! Oh, how difficult her life was!

No matter. She would make it work. 

During that workday, Barbie was sent into the closet once more. She left that day feeling fulfilled and happy, if not a little confused at the lack of modeling. But whatever. Puzzling over that would require, well, thinking!

As she drove away, she had a little niggling feeling in the back of her mind that she was forgetting something. She was halfway home before she realized it: Bella! She immediately made a U-turn in the middle of the street. She drove back on the wrong side of the road amid honking. 

She found Bella standing on the curb pouting, next to a very strange creature. It looked kind of like a moth, but also vaguely like a man. Barbie decided to call him Mothman. 

Bella widened her eyes and her pout to look up at Barbie. “You left me! I don’t have a car, and you wouldn’t pick up the phone.” 

“Oh, silly me”, Barbie tittered. “I’m sorry!”

Bella sighed. “It’s ok. Oh, my life is just so hard sometimes! But anyway, I found a new partner.” She gestured to Mothman. 

Barbie eyed him appraisingly. He would do, she supposed. She didn’t usually go for brunettes, but it’s always good to try new things. 

“Let’s get home, then!”, Barbie smiled. 

Mothman had had quite the experience. He’d just been roaming his Virginian woods, when he’d found himself in a dark room. Then, the dark haired woman had come in. She didn’t seem able to see in the dark as he could, so he’d helped her out. Then, it had seemed that she’d wanted to mate. He had been meaning to get around to it, so he obliged. She’d seemed to enjoy it tremendously, once she’d figured out how to do it. 

After several hours of pleasure, the woman led him outside. Thankfully, the harsh sun was near gone. They’d waited. Mothman was not sure what they were waiting for. A blonde woman had passed them both. Later, the blonde woman had returned, which Mothman had found rather counterproductive, but what was he to know about humans. He had only seen them before from a distance, and some of their customs were very strange indeed. 

The two women directed him into the bright pink metal machine. He’d seen these before. They conveyed the wingless humans around fast. He’d been sat in the back and buffeted by winds until it stopped in front of another one of those boxes humans lived in. Strange nests they built, but then, everything about them was strange. This one was pink and overlooked the ocean. Mothman was led inside to behold more shining, blinding pink, and up to a room with a canopy bed and a wood floor. The two women had jumped in bed and mated. They beckoned him to join. He couldn’t fathom why, but jumped in anyway. If, for whatever reason, they wanted him to mate too, why not? Perhaps it was a harem. And, he had an enjoyable time. 

The next morning, Mothman dozed among the rumpled sheets as Barbie and Bella ate breakfast. 

“Did you find anything yesterday?”, Barbie asked Bella with a dazzling grin. 

“No, I was distracted by Mothman”, Bella said, tilting her head up. 

“Hmmm”, Barbie mused. “Maybe I can bring you guys to my employers! It’s their house. They might know more about it. 

“Good idea”, said Bella coolly. She eyed Barbie, and in a fit of passion leapt onto her, like a cat pouncing on its prey. The two engaged in some pleasant morning sex. Then, they awoke Mothman, had some more sex with him, and then left for the gothic house. The three pulled up sporting identical pink shades, at Barbie’s request. It had taken some time to go out and buy them, and to get them onto a confused Mothman, but by 2 pm, they were rolling up in style. 

They entered the house with Barbie in the lead. Bella followed her all the way down the hallway. Barbie opened the door confidently, and Bella was greeted with a shocking sight. 

Objects spun amid candles and mist. Robed figures chanted around a circle of red.

“Hey!”, Barbie called cheerfully, stepping into the room. 

The figures startled, before turning to face Barbie. 

**“You again!?”** , boomed a figure  **“Why do you keep coming back!?”**

Barbie cocked her head. “It’s my job”, she said obliviously. “Also, I need a favor from you guys.” She turned back to Bella and Mothman “Come in here!”

The figures did not move. They just stood there, face holes turned straight towards the three. 

Barbie continued, entirely unfazed by that reaction. “So, I found these two in your house. Ok, Bella found Mothman here, but anyways, they were found here, and I figured, well, you’ll know your house better than me, right? And so I brought them. Do you know anything about them?”

**“We… Uh… WHAT?”** , stammered a figure. 

“Should I repeat myself? Ok! So-”

**“No! Don’t!”** , screeched another figure.

“Ok, ok”, said Barbie, raising her hands with a huff. 

Hey, Bella thought. That’s my thing! I’m the one who complains! And only because my life is so difficult!

The first figure brought their bony hands up to their face hole and let out a long breath. Then, abruptly, they threw their hands up and let out a scream.  **“Why are you still here!?”** , they screamed angrily.  **“Why do you have to keep butting in and screwing up our plans? Will you just go away already? There’s no job! Everything’s going all wrong! This is not how it was supposed to be! We just wanted to summon a demon, maybe a couple of demons! And instead, you”** , they gestured to Barbie,  **“and you”** , they now threw a hand at Bella,  **“And… that?”** , they gave a confused look to Mothman before launching back into their tirade.  **“That’s it! This is never going to work! Everyone, just, call it all off!”** They threw their hands down and sank to the floor. The other figures seemed confused. Slowly, they took their black hoods down to reveal gaunt, skeletal faces, washed out in varying shades of gray. Long, stringy, and equally colorless grey hair fell from their scalps. They began to gather items from around the room dejectedly. 

“So”, Barbie giggled cheerfully, “Any ideas?” 

Nine pairs of colorless, bulging eyes stared at her. Barbie did not waver. Finally, one of the people said, power gone from their now-small voice, “No. Please, just leave, godsdammit!” 

Barbie drew a small breath. “Oh, okay”, she said in a hurt tone. 

She gave one last look to her employers. Man, were they  _ ugly.  _ She was sure it wasn’t their fault, but that skin was so dry, not to mention wrinkled! It desperately needed moisturizing. And that stringy hair? How had they let it go so far? It needed an intense wash and condition. Dye wouldn’t hurt, either. The hideous split ends would need to be chopped. And oh, those shapeless black robes! They were simply a fashion travesty!

Barbie made a decision then. A decision that would change her life forever. 

Two hours later, Barbie had brought her entourage to the gothic mansion, along with buckets of beauty products and pink closet-cars full of clothes. Fashionable clothes, of course. 

“Move, people!”, Barbie crowed with a cheery clap. She ushered several lines of servants laden with clothing and products in through the hall to greet the nine dumbfounded gazes of her employers. She got to work straight away. This was a critical situation. 

In minutes, the dreary room had been converted into a bright pink full service salon and boutique. Barbie directed her servants to pull the figures into salon chairs. She had her experienced salon professionals wash, condition, chop, and dye their hair into the wonderfully flattering cuts that she’d picked out. By the time they were done, they sported tasteful, stylishly blonde cuts. Barbie took in their wide eyes and open mouths, and deduced that they must be enjoying this as much as she was!

Next, she took them to her best makeup and skincare people. They plucked, powdered, and eyelined for minutes before the clients were even presentable. Barbie gave an excited little clap as it all began to come together. The pallor was covered, and the wrinkles smoothed out. They each got a coat of lipstick and lovely mascara. 

Finally, she led the way over to her favorite part: fashion! She let out an excited squeal as she dove into a rack. She scanned through the many options she had brought. After three seconds of very careful deliberation, she pointed her servants to the outfits she had chosen and they were pulled onto the figures. Her job complete, Barbie admired her handiwork. 

Her employers looked absolutely fabulous! The transformation was total. The skin was flawless, the hair thick and glossy. The sparkling pink minidresses she had picked out added just the right amount of pizzaz. Looking them over, Barbie felt a sense of… fulfillment. It was very strange. She had never felt so full and satisfied as she had directing the makeovers of her employers. She stood to ponder this for a minute. Could she capture, replicate, this feeling? Here came another turning point. Barbie’s path would change the world. 

All this time, Bella had stood in the doorway with Mothman. She’d had to just wait! Oh, how difficult and trying her life was. She sighed melodramatically. At least she had Mothman. As such, she passed a portion of her time making out with him. He just seemed confused at all this. 

Finally, after absolutely  _ hours,  _ Barbie gave Bella the attention she so craved. The moment Barbie strode over, a confident pep in her step, Bella dove atop her. They had some more floor sex as Bella fondly rememdered their many other engagements in floor sex. Finally, a gasping Barbie pulled away. She continued to eye Bella longingly as she stood, as did a reluctant Bella. Mothman stood a few feet away, continuing to look confused. 

Barbie’s gaze, blue like the attractive veins in Edward’s skin, pierced Bella’s with more intelligence than Bella had seen from her, well, ever. 

Barbie’s voice was confident and determined when she spoke. “I know what my next job will be.”

Bella pondered this for a moment. She hadn’t thought of Barbie getting another job after this. She, herself, had never thought about such low matters as that; she’d decided that she would just freeload off the vampires or the werewolves. Why do all that work? It would be so hard.

Barbie continued. “I had such a great time fixing my employers. The rush was incredible! And that made me think, well, there must be others like them out there, who need my help! So, I’ve decided that I’m going to go on a mission: beautify the world!” 

She smiled at Bella, looking so earnest and proud at her idea. Bella considered it for a second, and concluded: eh. Why not?

Barbie stared to Bella, peppy as ever and only slightly less empty in the brains department. She took a small breath. “So, would you like to come with me?”

Bella stood straighter sharply. Stay… with Barbie? Here, without that toy Jacob, or her beloved vampire stalker Edward? Her family wasn’t a concern; they had been annoying anyway. Nor were her normal ‘friends’; they were even worse. But that crazy vampire sex? The chance to become a vampire and have even more crazy vampire sex? That was a lot to weigh. 

Barbie plowed on through Bella’s deliberation. “If you want to go back, I’m sure I can convince my newly made fashion icons to send you back. After all, they must be super grateful for what I gave them! They owe me now. But if you don’t want that, I promise, I can make it so great for you. Everyone will be grateful and owe me after I fix their fashion sense. You could have whatever you want. And you could have me! It would be fun.”

Bella looked at her intently with a little pout. Barbie’s icy-marine vessels of sight pulled her in. Bella trailed her gaze up and down her beautiful curves. Could she really just leave this? It was such a good offer. Oh, decisions! Why did her life have to be so, so hard?

But in the end, she knew with conviction that she couldn’t go back to her old life. These last few days had been so incredible, even more thrilling than all that supernatural stuff. It was time for a change, and this was it. 

“Fine. I’ll stay”, she huffed moodily. Barbie let out an ear-piercing squeal and dove atop her. 

Mothman was, indeed, as confused as he looked. The two women, blonde and dark haired, engaged in yet more mating on the floor. They mated so much, it was baffling! Did humans really need to try this hard to conceive offspring? If so, it was a wonder their species hadn’t died out! 

Eventually, the two women rose from the floor and chattered at each other. Mothman understood none of it, but after they finished the chatter, they… mated on the floor even more? Mothman’s confusion never ceased growing around these creatures. 

After another long while, both women got up. The blonde one approached him and chattered to him in more noises he didn’t understand. 

Once she had finished, she stared at him for a moment before letting out more chittering, a squeal, and jumping upon him. Mothman was startled for a second before he realized what was happening.  _ More _ mating? These creatures were insane! Whatever. He did not know their customs. He engaged in the mating. The dark haired woman joined in at some point. 

After yet another long while, the two women arose from the floor, panting. The blonde woman let out a startling whistle, and all the other humans, who had oddly just stayed there the whole time the chattering and mating had been going on, gathered up their strange objects and contraptions, quickly bustling out of the house. Mothman was directed into that same pink metallic machine and back to the box-nest. 

The world certainly changed rapidly from there. Barbie followed through on her decision, something she seldom did, as ideas fell through her brain rather easily. But there was something different about it this time, as anyone could tell. Just like back at that gothic mansion, there was a very deliberate passion to her actions. She cared about what she did now, more than anything (except sex, perhaps). 

She led a conquest. With all her money, she bought out resources and people. All the governments of the world could not stand up to her. She was like a pink, glittery force of nature; no man, woman, or child could escape her beautification program. Each got their coat of makeup and tasteful pink minidress. Barbie and the forces she garnered swept over all the seven continents. Even those on Antarctic outposts were not safe. 

Throughout this all, Bella and Mothman stood by Barbie’s side. Bella did, indeed, get anything and everything she could ever want. As was her nature, though, that little pout and edge of a whine never did quite go away. As she told a servant one day, her life was just so hard! She never was quite satisfied. 

As for Mothman, confused he went into this conquest and confused he remained. He found enjoyment from the mating, as he would refer to it, but it never did bear fruit as he had hoped. He wasn’t particularly upset about that. He even came to like his new life, confusing and nonsensical as humans were to him.

Overall, it could be said that everything worked out well for our heroes.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed that wild ride :)


End file.
